A Midge in Your Hand Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt: Modern by Stuart McLean

By Stuart McLean

An irreverent romp via Scottish proverbs - with chapters starting from outdated Scottish Proverbs remodeled and sleek Scottish Proverbs throughout the Midge, Scottish Chat-Up strains, and Scottish Insults to Glaswegian Proverbs. to not be taken heavily in anyway!

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Extra info for A Midge in Your Hand Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt: Modern Scottish Proverbs

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Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt The early eagle catches the early bird. A sick-line a day keeps the doctor away. It’s as difficult to get the Poll Tax out of the Socialist as it is to get the Socialist out of the pub. indd 49 21/06/2007 09:25:13 A Midge in Your Hand... If you want to know if you’ll still want sex in thirty years take a good hard look at your motherin-law. Never buy any pet that you couldn’t take in a fight. There’s no fool like old Hamish McLachlan. indd 50 21/06/2007 09:25:13 ... Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt Sticks and stones may break my bones but age, sex and racial discrimination will be reported to the Equal Opportunities Commission.

Fair maidens wear nae purses. indd 36 21/06/2007 09:25:12 ... Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt A hungersome wame haes nae lugs. Due to a bizarre genetic defect amongst the people of Tiree their ears spontaneously drop off if they go without food for more than a day. A man may spit in his neive an’ do but little. It takes more than a few gobs of spittle for a footballer to score a goal. indd 37 21/06/2007 09:25:12 A Midge in Your Hand... God never measures men bi inches. Even the most well-endowed men can be shit in bed.

A blind man needs nae looking-glass. For goodness sake give some thought to what you buy people for Christmas. Ma tongue isnae unner yer belt. I don’t do blow-jobs. indd 38 21/06/2007 09:25:12 ... Is Worth Two Up Your Kilt Aw things haes an end, an’ a pudden haes twa. Everything comes to an end, apart from the wife’s homemade blackpudding which just seems to last an eternity. He left his silver in his ither pootch. He’s a mean old bastard. As merry’s a mautman. As merry as an Jedburgh Ned in a field of marijuana.

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